Never had a boy friend

I don't have any boy friend since ages. The only boy whom I loved, left me broken heart. He came in my life like the light of morning at sunrise on a cloudless morning, like the brightness after rain that brings the grass from the earth. Bestowed all the happiness and love on me and finally there was a last goodbye by him and he walked away. I wanted to hold on him, not let him go but couldn't convince him. Ultimately the pieces of my heart were left aloof which keeps on missing him till date. He seems very happy with his life. His happiness does matter, but the hole in my chest is still burning hard. I always kept on sobbing for my lonesomeness until in my 2nd yr I came across a site where I read this....

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My love story is one of loneliness. It’s a long story, as I’m not sure when it started and when it will end, if it ever does.

I’m a cheerful, confident and sensitive girl. I was born in a caring family and I have close friends who are precious to me. I love arts, plants, animals and I sure can say I love life.

But I have a hole in my heart and sometimes I’m scared that it will never go. I’m 32 and I never had a boyfriend. Nobody could tell, ever, except people that I’ve known for years. Only a few of my friends and family know about it. It’s not something I talk about openly. I guess I’m kind of ashamed. The older I get, the worse it is.

I have both men and female friends. I get along well with women: I’m not the competitive type and I’m a good listener. My male friends consider me as “one of the boys” when we talk about music and play videogames but I’m very feminine too and I get a lot of compliments from intellectuals as well as from young punks. I’m a smiling person and men seem to like that

I never had a serious relationship. Never did a man say to me “I love you”, in a romantic way. I dated a few guys but never long enough too call them “my boyfriend” and I’ve been dumped carelessly. I got intimate with some and I don’t regret it: I needed affection, as every human being does. There was one I loved with all my heart but it was wasted. He liked me as a friend. Since he had drug problems at the time, I know now it was better that way. I know that I would have endured it all.

I won’t go out with a man at any price. I have good values and a good temper and I go along with men that are alike. If the point was “to be with somebody”, I would have been married years ago! I need to love and be loved. What’s wrong with looking for the Prince Charming? He’ll be pleased to have found his Princess Charming too

Nobody understands why it is: it’s like a curse. How can a sweet and smart girl never have a boyfriend? One of my friends almost cried when we talk about it. She knows how it makes me sad even if I don’t complain, though it hurts like hell. I try to think about all the other good things in my life. Except for my messy love life, I can say I’m blessed. But when I cry at night because I miss to be held in loving arms, believe me, I have to talk to myself otherwise I would go insane. Some days, I feel like a monster.

I’ve been hurt a lot. Sometimes, I wonder if I should ever trust another guy and give him a chance to get closer. I can’t help but give it a try. I’m a loving person and I will always follow my heart. Even if I don’t have a single proof that one day I’ll find someone, it’s worth trying. Maybe one day the bad dream will be over and the hole in my heart will be filled with love.  

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We give our-self lonely, hurted, shattered, broken and thousands of other appealing adjectives, but what about your view for people like her ?