Madness?

I feel like I am dirt to you
You hate me cause I love you
Just tell me why I’m so low to you
Didn’t I mean anything
Your happiness is my sorrow
My sorrow is my way
My life is a failure
Growing bigger everyday
Does it make you happy to see me sad
To break my heart and leave
Here we are
You and I
In the sun
In the sun we’re gone 

(Mortal Love)

Why torture yourself with words spoken when caught in adoration? Why let all the horrid monstrosity of humanity into your heart?
Why worry about childish dreams that are crushed beneath the weight of a reality so twisted that is pointless trying to understand? Why cry? Why feel at all? Why listen to Mortal Love with such perversion and adoration? Maybe a mirror looking into the past? Or just keeping alive that possible dark future to come? Oh, foolish heart of the young lovers, so tenderly broken when the romantic frame is shattered with violence and spite. So easy to be destroyed by simple words that were never written for you. 

And I still try to pretend that internal wounds don’t bleed, that they do not hurt. Is that the reason I need to keep some of them visible? Just a way to bleed? Who knows, I’ve never fully understood myself. i just know that I love, and true, sometimes I love the wrong people, some times I let my life come down because of love, sometimes I’m so high on it I don’t see the fall. True, I’m a lovefool, but that I’ve already said. And maybe love will tear us apart, and maybe love will bound us together. I don’t know, I don’t want to know. I’ve been told I’ll die young, I don’t want to know how the story ends. I just want to live, love, and learn. And I want to be doing all that when the bell begins to chime for me. 

So why torture myself with all the beauty that shatters, and with a million piercing shreds kills my heart? Why, maybe because it is beautiful. Maybe cause there is pain I’m too proud to mention, so I let it bleed. Who knows, I haven’t slept well in three weeks. I’m probably nuts. And shit, I love it.

So, what the hell, music is beautiful, oh music you’ve always been faithful. So what the hell if for beauty or love or both my heart bleeds. I’v been cut, I’ve been bruised, I’ve been misused and abused. Maybe it was an awkward coincidence, but I feel like flying high. I don’t do drugs, so I’ll use music. I’m alone tonight, so misery can make me some company. I don’t think I want to sleep, who knows why....
 

- Dark Shadow!