14th Feb 2011

14^th Feb 2011, Valentine’s day. A day when the whole world would think of anything but love and affection. A day where cupid’s flies around shooting arrows at people with the intent of making them fall in love . My blindfolded cupid’s intention was rebellious. Yes, I broke a man’s heart on 14^th Feb.

I felt so bad. I went home and cried like a child. No, I didn’t break up with him. We were barely friends, let alone lovers you can say. I wept for him, for the missed opportunity he had waited many years to chase in vain. I wept for all the men out there who have been there.

As we had dinner that Monday evening in February, in the loudest silence he was asking me out. He was so excited to finally have a date with me (a formal dinner for me). He kept on hinting at how much he didn’t know how to ask me out. Despite my smiles, I could tell this was NOT a joke judging by how he kept staring me. I could almost see him whip out a ring and drop on his knees anytime.

See, I like him as I would any of the boys I have known for close to a decade of which he was trying to set up a lunch/ coffee/ theatre date with me. He is a gentleman who any woman is lucky to have, Tall, dark and yes, good-looking but I wasn’t attracted to him.

All these years, I feigned ignorance as to whether he liked me. I admit I had a hunch; he did more than just like me. Last time we had a conversation that touched on my love life, I was ready to go with him. But that was 2 years ago. Now things have changed!

On that Monday, I bumped into him in the park and end up having dinner.

I let him talk on and on about how he is at a level where he is ready to settle down and I was the only missing part of the jigsaw puzzle. I looked for an opportunity to let him know that I didn’t feel the same way. He didn’t give me a chance anyways as he kept throwing compliments my way.

Finally he asked me what I thought and how I felt. He asked me to be honest about it. Be warned, words have a way of failing you at times like this. Suddenly I felt like I was on stage with the spotlight shining on me. I felt dizzy. I knew he wouldn’t be able to think straight once I had done my bit in all honesty.

When I was done, I didn’t miss the reaction. He looked like I had stabbed him in the gut with a Ninja’s katana. He pulled himself together in a split second while I let out a sigh of relief.

But I knew he was going to find a love that was his only that it was going to take longer. I also knew I had done the best thing by being honest.

As I write this, I feel sorry for the men out there who have been there and feel like they will miss out on love for all the right reasons.

I am sorry for your missed opportunities. I am sorry that someone else gets to love the girl you want to be with. I am sorry that your next girlfriend/wife will feel like she is second best.

I’m sorry that life is a bitch but I reckon, sometimes you have to miss out on some good so you can land the best.

- Dark Shadow!